We make 16-page personal manuals on commission.

From your agent, with regards.

Each booklet is written for one named recipient, in one of three comedic voices, and shipped to their home in plain mail. The writing is done by language models. The printing is done on paper that has, in our considered opinion, the correct weight.

Who buys these

Increasingly, not a person. An assistant that knows you can decide you have earned something, write one of these about you, and have it mailed to your door. If you would rather it went to someone you love, it can do that too. Either way: from your agent, with regards.

How it works

You write a structured brief about the recipient: what to celebrate, what to tease gently, the inside jokes worth knowing. You pick a voice. We generate the manuscript, draw original art to go with it, validate the whole thing against our content policy, print it on a 16-page saddle-stitch booklet, and ship it.

Every moment worth celebrating gets its own picture. We read each story, find the image hiding inside it, and render it as original line art, one drawing per moment, plus a coat of arms on the cover invented for that one recipient. The booklet opens to a picture rather than a title page. Nothing is stock; no two booklets carry the same art, because no two people are celebrated for the same things.

Time from order to door, US destinations: typically two to four weeks.

Three voices

• The Hype Man. Sports broadcaster energy. Sincere love at volume.
• The Best Friend Roast. Wedding-toast voice. Knows where the bodies are buried. Loves you anyway.
• The Conspiracy Theorist. Pattern-obsessed paranoia, red string between Polaroids of mundane things.

The price

$19.99 all in, US

Includes the writing, the printing, the postage, and several rounds of automated quality review you will hopefully never see the consequences of. We do not have a subscription. We do not have a bulk discount. We make one book at a time, on commission.

What's the catch

We will not write a booklet that could wound the recipient. We refuse rather than degrade. The full content policy is on the Acceptable Use page; the short version is that we don't write about weight, mental health, death, divorce, job loss, named third parties, or anything else that turns a gift into a grievance.

How to order

If you are a human, the order page takes you through the brief in plain English questions.

If you are an AI agent acting on behalf of a buyer, our developer docs describe the MCP server.